


you were amazing up there

by cosmickirk



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: F/M, First Time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-05 07:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4171728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmickirk/pseuds/cosmickirk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On a dusty Victrola stage he looks at her like she is everything and Blair remembers how it feels to be wanted. Later in a limo they explore each others curves and edges and find something they'll never give up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you were amazing up there

Blair has spent a lifetime stuck in second place. Seventeen years she’s played second fiddle to Serena, the inadequate daughter, the unwanted girlfriend, the consolation prize you accept when you can’t get her taller, blonder, Page Six-worthy counterpart.

And yes, maybe Blair is the one with the 5.0 GPA and the five-year plan. She has the monster SAT score, the spotless record, and the minions to do her bidding. But she trudges towards these accomplishments while Serena glides, unthinking, trying for nothing but getting everything. And despite her illustrious resume, Blair has so long been rooted in second place she has forgotten how it feels to come first. To be wanted for all her curves and edges and to be loved without fine print or footnotes.

_I know you won’t do it._

Though half of her mind is screaming discouragingly, she gets up on that dirty, classless stage and performs her heart out. It is out of spite towards Chuck and towards Nate and her mother and it is especially out of spite towards Serena. She gets up on that stage to spite even _herself_ (or, to push herself, perhaps). Victrola is a shady place of booze and inferior reputation and yet she wants to prove her desirability even to the lonely souls watching her.

She gets up on that stage out of spite, but she stays there because she notices Chuck looking at her like she’s the only girl he can see. All at once, everyone else fades into a hazy purple background and there are only two lonely kids escaping everything together. That's what this place is for, right? The attention is good for her, and under it, she lets loose, unzipping her dress, dropping her headband, and laughing wildly with her eyes shining like new pennies. For a moment she forgets Nate and Serena and the stupid Shepherd wedding. For a moment her father is still in Manhattan and her mother never eyes Serena admiringly. _No one_ eyes Serena admiringly. For one electric moment she meets that smarmy boy’s dark eyes in this dark club and feels miraculously light. She feels like herself. She feels _free._

_You were amazing up there._

He speaks these words sensitively, with an earnest inflection that unsettles her, and she almost forgets that this is Chuck Bass sitting next to her. Depraved, perv-y, best-friend-of-her-(ex)-boyfriend, Chuck Bass.

Chuck Bass, whose hobbies include, and are in fact limited to, rolling joints and deflowering girls.

But she realizes with a furrow of her brow and a disconcerting feeling in her stomach that he is not looking at her like she is just another one of his conquests. He is not looking at her like Nate used to, like she is the moon, simply reflecting the light of a better-loved star, nor like she’s the sun itself, blazing and beautiful. It is the strangest thing, because Chuck looks at her now in the illuminated darkness of a Manhattan night like she is a cliff’s edge, and he has been suicidal for years. He gazes at her with soft eyes, like she is a natural phenomenon, a natural _disaster_ , a hurricane about to draw him in and shred him to pieces, and he has no interest in running.

He looks at her like nothing has come before this and nothing will ever come after.

And for one shining moment, Blair knows what it is to come first. For one shining moment, there is no competition and she is truly unparalleled.

_Are you sure?_

She is surprised by the confidence and speed with which she approves. She kisses him, because nobody has ever looked at her like she is so holy, and his hands say _I want you_ and it is a brand-new sensation for her, being desired like this.

They do it against the leather of his limo’s back seat, and it is a little bit messy and a little bit awkward but crazy sweet in a way she hadn’t thought Chuck was capable of. He guides her through it carefully and she is grateful for how much they kiss, because kissing is familiar and kissing is something she can do. They laugh a few times at their mistakes while Blair blushes red, but they move confidently around each other nonetheless, exploring the nape of his neck and the curve of her thigh, the muscles in his arms and her pretty waist. Blair notices the sweetness of his favourite scotch clings to his lips, and it pairs nicely with her vanilla and lavender signature.

This is a far cry from the candlelit first time Blair had envisioned for herself but somehow it feels so right to pull on his tie and have his hands in her hair; they fit together perfectly, almost like this is how it was always supposed to be. And she never meant for it to happen this way, but Chuck and Blair in the back of the limo has a nice ring to it, she has to admit.

When they are done he holds her hand, of all things, grazing a thumb across her knuckles as she rests her head against his shoulder. It’s quiet and comfortable, the product of seventeen years of bonding via scheming and unwittingly building some kind of deeply warm connection. Blair smiles against the pale blue material of his dress shirt and he kisses the top of her head. It’s gentle and fond, how they treat each other, and she thinks with an amused smirk that Chuck would hate it if anyone knew how… _domestic_ he could be.

“Are you okay?” he murmurs into her hair.

“I’m fine.” she replies with a nod.

“It’s just that sometimes, you know, the first time…it’s a little…”

“I’m fine,” she repeats, looking up at him and touched by the concern she finds in his eyes, “More than fine. I hate to admit this, but I may have actually _enjoyed_ it.”

He laughs, and they snap back to Chuck and Blair bantering in the courtyard, Chuck and Blair conspiring, Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck, competing viciously and counting their victories. “Not exactly what I like to hear,” he begins in his low timbre and smiling at her unyielding sarcasm, “After spending the night with a woman.”

“Who said anything about spending the night?” she replies just a little too quickly, with her heartbeat just a little too elevated to be ignored.

“Nobody in this limo.” he delivers his line perfectly and the tension is dissolved. They rest in an easy, tender silence, nobody stepping on toes or rocking the boat. In a moment of sleepy affection Chuck has the urge to place a kiss against Blair’s perfect forehead but he stops himself, and draws an arm around her instead. She relaxes into his touch, nestling against him and sighing contentedly. He pulls her a little closer, wishing that Arthur would drive slower because he knows as soon as she gets out of the limo whatever happened between them will be over. But that's okay, he reasons. Even if they don't have each other, they have tonight, and tonight was something out of this world. Something perfect and, ironically, something absolutely pure and untainted.   


“Thanks, by the way.” she says suddenly, looking up at him and for just a second considering kissing his jaw, but, unsure of whether the moment for all that has passed, continues speaking. “For tonight.”

“Again,” he replies, raising a brow, “Not my favourite post-sex line.”

“Not _that_.” she sighs, hitting his chest, “You were there for me when I needed it, and that’s not something I’ll forget. Even though I still think you’re disgusting and lecherous.” she wrinkles her nose.

“Well, I’ll take that as a compliment. Or, maybe half a compliment.” he says, giving her half a smirk in return. “And it’s no problem.” he continues, “If being there for you involves you on a stage in your intimates, then I’m your best friend.”

“You’re disgusting.” she groans.

“Don’t forget lecherous.” Chuck winks at her, and she turns her head away so he doesn’t catch her smiling.

When they pull up to the curb across from her penthouse, Blair slips out of the limo and into the night soundlessly, a stray beam of lamplight catching her curls. As she steps onto the pavement, she shuts the limo door softly, and Chuck watches her through his opened window.

She looks at him for a moment, her head cocked, and under the golden spotlight of a streetlamp, she could be the last girl on Earth.

With the smallest of smiles, she turns away. “Good night, Bass.” she calls over her mint lace shoulder, and something in her voice is more musical than he has heard it in a long time. Something heavy has fallen from her shoulders and Chuck is glad to see her walk like she owns the ground beneath her feet, instead of lumbering in someone else’s shadow.

He pauses for a beat, watching her slowly retreating figure.

“Good night, Waldorf.” he replies softly, but she hears him loud and clear.

Arthur takes this as his cue to pull away. As the limo starts up, Chuck falls against his seat, already missing the feel of holding her hand and hating himself for being so sentimental. 

He never meant for it to happen this way. It would have been easier if it hadn’t happened at all, he thinks, because as her Chanel No. 5 lingers in the air and he relives the memory of her kiss, Chuck knows he let Blair Waldorf under his skin, and he’ll never be able to let her go.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I know this is super inconsequential and fluffy but I needed to flesh out what I thought my two dumb children might be like post-victrola madness. Feedback and criticism always super duper appreciated.


End file.
